PakkiLeaks

With the CBI supposedly closing in on the illegal  benefactors of the 2G loot, WikiLeaks has given another headache to Mu.Karunanidhi. Mu.Ka has told the media that he has his own reliable sources who leak the leaks that was not leaked by Wikileaks. A interesting take on how our Netas and Babus respond to the Leaks…

After Andimuthu.Raasa (untimely paradoxical name ..Andi roughly means Pauper and cant believe a Pauper looted 1.76 Lakh Crore, such is the linguistic timing and brilliance of  our Mu.Ka) used Subramanya swami and his caste as an escapist route, Mu.Ka did not want to be left behind and he has come up with a mindboggling information through his source Pakki that Julian Assange is none other than N Ram with blonde hair and the whole WikiLeaks cash for votes scam is a Brahminary conspiracy according to Pakkileaks.

Another shocking cable released by PakkiLeaks include secret communications between Perva-nor N.D Tiwari and French PM Berlusconi. The cable says French PM congratulated Perva-nor ND Tiwari on his non stop desi bunga bunga teen orgy sessions. The cable also says Silvio got some “long lasting” tips from ND Tiwari and he held Tiwari in such high esteem and morale that he was the motivational factor which prompted him to indulge in a marathon teenathon bonathon session.

Close to South we have another shocking revelation about none other than our very own “tree hugger”  Rajinikanth. The leaked cable reveal that superstar wanted his next movie to be bigger and bigger in terms of age difference between himself and the heroine. The initial plan was to rape in I mean rope in 7 different heroines for 7 different superstar getups. The actress when sorted according to age difference between superstar and herself in ascending order include: Rekha (for older rajini), vidya balan (for mid life rajini), deepika (for youth rajini), Miley Cyrus ( for Teen Rajini. SUN pictures had plans to set up a 100 crore American idol set where Teen Rajini beats Justin Bieber and gets a chance to take Miley as his Prom date), Abigail Breslin  (for 10 year old rajini), a state of the “art” cuntonoid (to pair with the humanoid Rajini to make us paranoid)  and finally an unidentified pregnant women who is about to give birth to a female child in a hospital. The same hospital where a drunken blaggard find the Rajini baby draped in yellow cloth, abandoned near the canteen.  The movie was codenamed Itch (superstar wanted to use his engleees speaking skills to give a double meaning information to the audience by keeping the title of the movie as Itch..which means Aripu and also happens to rhyme with Ich… (soundified indication of a kiss). Fearing potential law suits from senior citizen association and the social security administration, Abigail and Miley dropped out of the movie later fearing that they might be jailed for molesting/lovemaking/seducing an innocent old gentleman.Later director K.S (yes K.S) Ravikumar went ahead with some  VeenaPonna heroines as renamed the movie as Raana (raping actresses again n again).

Another southern expose comes from the goltuland and its about none other than KC Rao. Secret cables reveal that KC Rao is actually a gay right activist (evident from the pink factor in all his talks, pictures, manifestos) etc and he is hell bent on putting his own self interest above national and people`s interest. The telengana movement is nothing about gongurafication of the woodstock in Hyderabad.

Leaks without cricket is incomplete .  MS Dhoni after landing in Chennai, fortunately watched tamil comedy movie Panchathanthiram and was so influenced by the philosophical thought put forward by Reddy Garu (the diamond merchant, Father in Law of Sriman). Secret cables reveal that MS Dhoni planned to stick to the quote ” Graniteuu Beddha Kallu Chinna Profitu..diamonduu..chinna kallu..bedhha profituu (granite stone is big, profit is small, diamond stone is small but profit is big”. He plans to apply the same logic to the world cup and IPL 2011 (world cup more skills less money, IPL less skills more money). Why play 2 months of good cricket thinking that we have skills and get knocked out make less money. Better to exploit and expose our lack of skills to our advantage and make more money in IPL.